1. My Rose Quartz heart necklace broke, it fell off my neck and smashed on the tile. It was a gift from a friend I met 3 summers ago and worked with. She is a free spirit and colourful inspiring person to be around. I'm not sure why it broke, the sense from it was that my heart is going to break. I'm choosing to not think of it as a bad way. Maybe my heart will break so it can heal up better than it was before, a new heart, a divine heart. Perhaps it was just the high vibrations that made it smash. I know during a video I watched with Teal Scott one of her crystals shattered because there was a very strong energy from a guide in the room and guides vibrate highly. Crystals vibrate highly as well so the energy can be transferred to the crystal and be too high causing it to shatter. I don't believe in coincidences anymore, so I know its something.
2. I became obsessed with the twin flame idea. Originally when I found out about twin flame/soul I loved the concept. The first concept I conceptualized is that my twin flame is a part of me, its not any other person. Like my masculinity is right here with me now, inside me, outside me, balancing with my yin (femininity).
I am very yin, but I also have a little yang. I'd like to balance them out better. Then my second idea or evolving idea of twin flame was that yes it could be another person, that the soul split into feminine and masculine and very rarely will come down to earth (or physical manifestation) together. I thought that it was true but I didn't have a twin myself. Then my third evolving idea of the twin flame/soul is that maybe I do have a twin. (even though I had already drempt that I didn't, and that it is all in me, I just need to activate it, when I'm ready.) But I love the idea of it, a mirror, someone who understands you to the core. I also know that twin flame relationships are extremely hard because you are basically dating yourself, so all of your flaws are staring right back at you....literally. I was glad that I don't have a twin flame but at the same time I fixated myself a little bit onto this guy I rarely know, and wished that he was my twin flame. I think he may have been thinking it too, and I picked that up. Sometimes its hard to tell who's emotion or thoughts it is. Because if it was me who felt it first, I would radiate it outward to him, and my body language would communicate it, (and if hes at all intuitive which I'm pretty sure he is) then he would pick up that vibration and then I would pick up his vibration of my vibration and thus it would be amplified that much more. OK, crazy right? Thats one of those things that goes around in my head but is so complicated and hard to explain. So, back to my story, I began daydreaming of this guy being my twin flame (and yes I have Kiel in my life already-whom I freaking adore and love to the max) so I envisioned this twin being like a brother energy, full on twin energy or I imagined him sweeping me off my feet and away from everything hard in my life. REALITY CHECK. If was my twin flame, life would not be easier! And, no one but me can sweep me off my feet. I was seeing signs like twins, 2 flames burning side by side, I felt like it was twin flame signs. I never really got excited about it though, I acted excited at a few points, but I was kinda disconnected to my spirit. It didn't feel right, or fit. Usually if its right, you know its right. So, now my evolved feeling about twin flames is that everyone who you are in a relationship with are your twin match for that time. We are all sending out vibrations of how we feel, what we want, whatever is in our head that we are really feeling. We attract whatever those vibrations are because vibrations have to match up in order for them to connect. So whatever I am putting out into the world is mirroring back to me. Therefore, Kiel is my twin flame at this time.
3. Mirrors. Reflection, ripple, yin-yang, balance.
It seems like balance is really speaking to me, I have mastered being imbalanced, now I am moving on to balance.
You can do this exercise next time you feel like you are a certain way, but don't want to be like that anymore.
Fill in the blanks and say out loud, or write it down, or write in your head, sing it, see it, plant it, grow it!
I have mastered _______________
now I'm moving on to ________________.
Examples of my own.
I have mastered being imbalanced,
now I am moving on to balance.
I have mastered having my solar plexus chakra blocked,
now I am moving on to an open solar plexus.
I have mastered being scattered and everywhere, like a chariot out of control, coming from all different directions, now I am moving on to connecting all the dots, having a clean, clear space to SEE myself, not a fuzzy cloud of confusion.
I love this exercise because it confirms that what I am now is still good, "I have mastered" implies even though it may be something you don't like, it is still good that you learned it. We are here to learn! "Now I am moving to" is a positive shift to the future and its not like "one day I will be" which implies Im not it yet. I already have it all in me, I just need to activate it. We all have everything IN us. We just activate different parts, perspectives, feelings, energy frequencies. I also love this exercise is that it came to me! I came up with it.
4. Energy Frequencies! I have found my portal. Its literally been staring me in the face since I was born. It's so funny. I love how there are signs and solutions smack dab in our faces and yet we still don't see them. Anyways, I can see energy. All I have to do, is close my eyes.
That saying by Rumi, Close both eyes to see with the third eye.
I have written that saying so many times, I have thought it, I have known it, and yet I still didn't get it (and didn't know that I didn't get it until now.) When I close my eyes I can see dances of light and static. I see it right now too. But its easier to really see the patterns with my eyes closed- at least for now. Im sure I'll work my way up to where I don't need to close my eyes. What do I see? Ha, its hard to explain because you won't get it, until you see it, just like how I didn't and the thing is is that you think you do get it! Oh the world, perspective. So many different meanings and values for the same thing. I will try to explain it in one sentence what I see. Dancing dots of different coloured kinds of light like stars, all dancing in-sync all static like tv static, floating effortlessly into shapes, patterns, unexplainable cycles and stories.
5. I am disgusted by meat. Even eggs. My stomach is churning, my body is changing. Old things are falling to the way side. My body is communicating to me and I am listening. Mostly.
6. My ego is rearing its ugly and beautiful heads, and I'm neither.
After seeking outside of myself for so long I finally understand that the only person who can save me is me. I take responsibility of my ego mind. I am starting to understand and dis-identify with my mind. I meditate to find who I am. I am beginning to see how my ego mind creates all my problems and keeps me suffering. The pain of Introspection at this point is intensifying. It is becoming more difficult to remain a detached witness to my deeply ingrained behavioral patterns. As I continue to cultivate my inner witness I realize how crucial it is in spiritual awakening. To move into that ultimate scary consciousness of darkness, your worst fears. I take full responsibility for my pain and suffering (I said this before but I feel the need to say it over and over.) Through detached observation my sense of self-identity will begin to break down and what I think I know about myself will no longer seem true. I realize the more I know, the less I know.
3. Mirrors. Reflection, ripple, yin-yang, balance.
It seems like balance is really speaking to me, I have mastered being imbalanced, now I am moving on to balance.
You can do this exercise next time you feel like you are a certain way, but don't want to be like that anymore.
Fill in the blanks and say out loud, or write it down, or write in your head, sing it, see it, plant it, grow it!
I have mastered _______________
now I'm moving on to ________________.
Examples of my own.
I have mastered being imbalanced,
now I am moving on to balance.
I have mastered having my solar plexus chakra blocked,
now I am moving on to an open solar plexus.
I have mastered being scattered and everywhere, like a chariot out of control, coming from all different directions, now I am moving on to connecting all the dots, having a clean, clear space to SEE myself, not a fuzzy cloud of confusion.
I love this exercise because it confirms that what I am now is still good, "I have mastered" implies even though it may be something you don't like, it is still good that you learned it. We are here to learn! "Now I am moving to" is a positive shift to the future and its not like "one day I will be" which implies Im not it yet. I already have it all in me, I just need to activate it. We all have everything IN us. We just activate different parts, perspectives, feelings, energy frequencies. I also love this exercise is that it came to me! I came up with it.
4. Energy Frequencies! I have found my portal. Its literally been staring me in the face since I was born. It's so funny. I love how there are signs and solutions smack dab in our faces and yet we still don't see them. Anyways, I can see energy. All I have to do, is close my eyes.
That saying by Rumi, Close both eyes to see with the third eye.
I have written that saying so many times, I have thought it, I have known it, and yet I still didn't get it (and didn't know that I didn't get it until now.) When I close my eyes I can see dances of light and static. I see it right now too. But its easier to really see the patterns with my eyes closed- at least for now. Im sure I'll work my way up to where I don't need to close my eyes. What do I see? Ha, its hard to explain because you won't get it, until you see it, just like how I didn't and the thing is is that you think you do get it! Oh the world, perspective. So many different meanings and values for the same thing. I will try to explain it in one sentence what I see. Dancing dots of different coloured kinds of light like stars, all dancing in-sync all static like tv static, floating effortlessly into shapes, patterns, unexplainable cycles and stories.
5. I am disgusted by meat. Even eggs. My stomach is churning, my body is changing. Old things are falling to the way side. My body is communicating to me and I am listening. Mostly.
6. My ego is rearing its ugly and beautiful heads, and I'm neither.
After seeking outside of myself for so long I finally understand that the only person who can save me is me. I take responsibility of my ego mind. I am starting to understand and dis-identify with my mind. I meditate to find who I am. I am beginning to see how my ego mind creates all my problems and keeps me suffering. The pain of Introspection at this point is intensifying. It is becoming more difficult to remain a detached witness to my deeply ingrained behavioral patterns. As I continue to cultivate my inner witness I realize how crucial it is in spiritual awakening. To move into that ultimate scary consciousness of darkness, your worst fears. I take full responsibility for my pain and suffering (I said this before but I feel the need to say it over and over.) Through detached observation my sense of self-identity will begin to break down and what I think I know about myself will no longer seem true. I realize the more I know, the less I know.
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