Making Space

Her howling is haunting

as though her pleas shall never be heard.

Her expression; searing pain.

Howling a siren, a screeching pitch.

Hopelessness and restless defeat

the sound leaps out of from her depths

like a begging plea.

If no one should answer

she fears she will perish

her identity; cracked, diminished.

Its more than any being can fathom, 

(but less than the limit)

less than an echo

less than a drop

an insignificant speck

for no one hears her cry

and if they do, they care not.
Die Ego, Die. 

I don't mean to surely kill you,

not all of you at least.

I love you child, I do. That's why I leave you.

Howl LOUDER. SCREECH. SCREAM.

feel the broken pieces

escaping as they separate

open for everyone to see

when not a single eye will look

Lay there naked

vulnerable beyond compare

for this too, shall pass.

this is it. You're ready.

The crying wolf becomes the spirit

once again,

And the spirit becomes the space

once again. 

I am.

.....

This blog is about killing my ego. The Inspiration for that blog was out of a screaming fit I had. I was searching for mental health help, and after 2 strained hours of tear soaked phone calls speaking to machines and busy signals I finally got through to the intake receptionist at Surrey's Mental health Association and.... my phone cut out.
To me that was the Universe/God saying "Give it up" and so I did. I screamed for about 10 minutes straight after that. I howled in my pain and agony as though I was a wolf. I've never allowed myself to vent like that before. At the time I thought I was losing my mind (in a bad way) I thought I had snapped (in a bad way) and I was mad at everyone. I was mad at God. And I was beyond hurt that he hung up the phone when I had finally got through.
After a few days went by and my perspective on the matter changed and evolved I realized it was my ego that I was killing. It was my ego, searching for "mental health" searching for a label "bipolar" searching for tools on an external level. I have all of the answers inside me, and the external stuff comes when it is meant to.