Not many people know about Empaths. Even this spell checker wants to tell me its not a word. I've been this way all my life and never understood why. Now I know why. When I lived around a person with rage, I had a few raging episodes myself. I though it was just who I am, but now that I'm away from the rage, and have been for years, I don't feel like that was actually a part of me, because there is no root. I go deeper, to find the pain, and its all just fine. It wasn't my emotion.
Energetically, I am a sponge.
I even pick up storm energy, pressure changes, and moisture in the air. My Arthritis hurts and lets me know change is coming. Now that I know why, that its the energy from them, the differences in the energy. I can listen, I can harness my abilities! All this time, I have this amazing gift and I thought it was a flaw. I thought I was too sensitive, too emotionally driven. I have come to love those aspects of myself, but I still kinda had the "why me?" feeling about it. Why does everything seem SO BIG to me? I thought. Well the answer is because I pick up other peoples energy. That's why I often have a hard time around worriers, I end up worrying. When I hang around positive people, I become more positive, I feel full and light after spending time with them.
The crazy thing is that I'm not only picking up people's energies, I'm picking up things energies. Like the bed, that I had been cursing because at night I smack my arms and legs on the dresser drawers (the bed is too close- I'm in the middle of moving), and I send bitterness energy to the bed. The other night as I lay, I could feel the beds energy. I felt slight feelings of unworthiness, and "I'm not good enough's" and "must try harder's." I had just centered myself and felt good with myself until I layed on the bed. It didn't feel like it was my emotion. (I'm asking myself "is that my emotion" a lot since being guided to see that I am an energetic sponge.) So, I remembered back to what an intuitive healer told me, that he could pick up the energies of the beds, tables, floors, objects, you name it. At the time, to be honest, I didn't believe him. My ego was in the way (which is fine, because everything happens exactly when its suppose to.) My ego was in the way, but deep down I kinda believed him. My rational mind shook its head and laughed, but my spirit was like "yeah!! Remember! everything is energy!"
Another thing I should say, is that this did not come to me through research. I do research a lot. But this realization that I am an empath did not come from any outer experience.
It came from me. I dreampt about it several times, until I finally just sat with the feeling. Then I centered myself (ran through my chakras, from root chakra all the way up to crown and my aura.) And tapped into my breathing. I felt that inner sense of knowing, and calmness. Strength, warmth and acceptance. I saw visions with my imagination, I can describe them, but I can only describe the feeling. It was like a windstorm and I felt it all. Then I was out of my body, and I was watching everyone, and I could see how I was being affected by even a thought. Without any protective barrier, I felt the energy of the other peoples thoughts and I actually thought they were my own thoughts! Then I went through my past. I can't remember what I saw but I remember feeling like WHOA this is insane this changes everything, everything makes sense, oh wow I'm so excited to put this to practice! I felt free, like all these ties were undone now, and I can stand!
I pick up animals energy, peoples energy, atmospheric energy, I pick up energy from objects.
So much of my life is making sense. So many little things all stringing together now, so intricate and interconnected.
I can pick up the energy of my guides!
I can create an energetic shield/filter/bubble to keep out the "icky" energies that need not come through (of course I'm still gonna receive "icky" energy, it is a huge part of life.) but the ones that overwhelm me so I can't even contain my own energy, or hear my own energy, I can block those out.
It makes sense why I burnt out. Why my fire came to a smolder a year ago after I immersed myself in so many people's energies constantly. No wonder I love Galiano, the space, the energies of the forest, the beach, the energies of the Island people. The energies of the birds, the sunlight, the waves.
No wonder when I was a kid I was often on my own, and loved to play independently. No wonder I needed time alone. No wonder I get drained from crowds! I am tired after family get togethers, more so lately, completely exhausted.
It's no wonder I love wind so much. Its energy! I always say the wind energizes me.
Basically, I am impacted with /blessed with winds all day long. Wind from Kiel, wind from the bed, wind from outside, wind from the cat, the computer, the garden, the bathtub (which I think has very high vibrations! I love that bath and send it love every day when I'm enjoying it, Oh to have hot cleansing water! So lovely.). Wind from everything. The wind I'm describing is energy. You can't see it, I can't see it, maybe some people can see it. Some people don't feel it, some people kinda feel it, and then there are people like me. We sure can FEEL it. You send me a thought, trust me I GET IT. I'm not inside your head, I can't tell what your thinking. So don't worry! I can feel the energy you send when you send a thought involving me into the world. Just like when Gemini gets tangled in her leash, she will sit quietly and I will know she needs help without being able to see her. She must think of me, because I get a message.
- Have I been labeled as “too emotional” or overly sensitive?
- If a friend is distraught, do I start feeling it too?
- Are my feelings easily hurt?
- Am I emotionally drained by crowds, require time alone to revive?
- Do my nerves get frayed by noise, smells, or excessive talk?
- Do I prefer taking my own car places so that I can leave when I please?
- Do I overeat to cope with emotional stress?
- Am I afraid of becoming engulfed by intimate relationships?
Those are some of the questions I stumbled upon and answered resounding "Yes's to. I will post more as I go.
Thanks for reading!!
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