Frustrations and Revelations

Learning a New Perspective

Today I found myself feeling:

I am so mad! Garrrrr, Urgg Arrgggg!!

No one cares enough, why aren`t people gentler and more accepting.

Where the hell am I suppose to go now?

Why don`t I feel strong and loved and right.

I hate this

I am frustrated, I am sad and hurt. I am tired.

I feel Hopeless.

I feel distant from Kiel, I feel distant from everyone

 I guess I feel distant from myself.

I'm frustrated that I don't know what to do next. I'm impatient. 

I want more awareness, I want answers. I miss home.

I just want to go home and sleep for a while. I miss my true accepting family.

I miss me. 

I sigh heavily, my chest is weight-full,

My eyes are tired.

and Kiel comes to comfort me,

and Loves Me, 

I am blessed. 

I Love Me.

I Am. 

Grateful. An Indigo child. A Lover. Sensitive. Accepted. I accept myself and everything I wish to do.

I make the best decisions for me. And I trust myself.

I am here, and everything I'm here for is for the better of my Soul.

I am grateful to be here, on earth. I am thank full for being Awake and Alive.

I am receiving the answers, they are already here.

I have all the awareness and direction I need, and I am open to them. I am receiving more and more awareness and direction with each coming second.

It is good to feel lost... because it proves you have a navigational sense of where "Home" is. You know that a place that feels like being found exists. And maybe your current location isn't that place but, Hallelujah, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it. ~Erika Harris

Delete Delete

Delete delete!

Delete my old emails and I can clear out my mind,

(my cousin was talking to me about how she is a delete lover, she loves getting rid of stuff and I notice she gets over things quickly, she's very strong. With a warrior energy but soft and feminine,  bright and full. I have always kind of clung on to things and its sad to say goodbye, but with her its fun and freeing. This is a quality I am now having too! What a great way to be grateful, even when you are letting go do it with joy.)

Unsubscribe to things I don't want anymore and clear anyone who's bothering me daily in my head,

Upgrade my virus protector and Protect myself in my mind by forming my protective filter,

Clean out the old clutter. Let space and expansion flow to fill your life brighter and smoother

Internet to me is very like our human minds and connections we just haven't tapped into them yet. Well most of us. I think our minds are connections and we are all interconnected with each other by lightning bolt umbilical cords of energy connections, like an electrical wire and connections in the back of the computer. 

Internet Connection

Neuron Connections in our brains

I feel like i flow smoother on the internet, like I am safe to do my thing without feeling "watched." And its fun and easier than heavy life. Its life but much lighter. 

Totally different topic: (or maybe not)

I am reading the lovely Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie and tomorrow's daily meditation is;

 "I woke up one morning and found myself in a strange place. Instead of waking up to pain, I felt happy, at peace, and excited about being alive. This feeling had come around before, but never to stay or last. Now I knew that it was mine for good. It was where this journey had led."

This is beautiful. 

I know that emotions in our experience need to be dealt with and released, otherwise it comes up to the surface. It breaks through the intuitive waters of the mind/heart/soul to the surface of the physical manifestation (your body or environment). Everything is connected, so be it below, so be it above. Like the tree and its roots, like yin and yang, like hot and cold, your body/mind/heart/soul needs balance and temperance. When you are hurting on the outside (in your body or environment) it is mirror or something the inside (of your mind/heart/soul.)
So it makes sense to me when the quote above said that when she changed her mind to joy, she was no longer in pain on the inside or outside.

Balance

Knowingness and Dreams!

Thank you Universe for sending The shift with Swag my way!! http://theshiftwithswag.blogspot.ca/2013/07/find-your-knowing-ness.html
Thank you self for aligning with that!!
I just read her blog "finding your knowingness" and LOVED IT I am floating on air right now! Woot Woot.

5 things I know right now;

I know I am Love

I know I am spirit in a human form but I am also still spirit in spirit form too

I am all knowing! I have all the answers I need

I am awesome!! I am a bright shining light

I am worthy and deserving and entitled to anything and everything i can dream up!

I am dreaming up:
A body that flows and moves and is limber and stretchy, a flexible body, a loving body, a comfortable body that is free to move about with ease and contentedness.
A white or blue truck that takes me to the beach, on a camping trip, surfing, to visit and support family, to go to the island with, to get around in and have a blast in.
A dog to love, A dog to walk, a dog to roam with and learn from, a kind and protective friend who teaches me more about myself.
A happy home of my own with Kiel. A bright home with hidden areas for Kiel to hide away in and feel safe, but also bright rooms and big windows for me to flourish and grow in.
Painting supplies, An easel or whatever that standy upy thing is called that holds the canvas. All different mediums and details to express my inner pictures and moods and expression.
Dancing confidence and singing confidence. Open my voice to myself and others, feel free, Care only about how good it makes me feel, know in my inner self the beauty and freedom of singing and dancing. the release.
A boat!!! (and a boat trailer) A motor home!!! To travel and see this beautiful world, to island hop and visit beautiful magical healing lands.
Galiano living, and Hawaiian living. Galiano trips and stays for weeks at a time, Hawiian get-aways in the winter months to regain my strength and source energy (the sun)
Writing a book!!!

Update; (July 21st, 2013)
Well, everytime I read this post I feel amazing, I just love it. And i thought I'd do a little update and show myself how powerfull my positive intentions are and the energy I've put into this list and envisioning it.
1. Ive been doing a lot more yin yoga, and i have dvds to learn about fascia (thin muscular "plastic-like" layer that is everywhere in your body and is stretched with yin yoga) For a more limber and flexible body.
2. I dogsat for my sister, and had an amazing time! I had some good realizations about myself and control, and how to just flow with life. Stop trying to control everything.
3.We have been evicted, which means we've got to move on to a new home! (whoops should have refined my idea of transition from this home to a new one, Im praying for peace, and dancing in the storm.)
4. No painting supplies yet, but I feel it coming
5. Dancing confidence and singing confidence, I have leanrt new things about these and also started spontaneously dancing or singing! People in my life are encouraging much more than ever in my life. Like I didnt even realize i was singing, I was just singing, "baby, baby, baby, baby" in a familiar tune, and Kiel goes, "I like it when you sing"- Oh! I didnt even know I was singing, but thank you! Thats encouraging to know when Im not even trying, you like it :). And Im helping a woman clean her house, the other day when i finish she goes, "I think we should dance!". Sweet encouragements like that. Thank you angels!
6. A BOAT!!!! MY DAD BOUGHT A FRIGGIN BOAT! holy shit I manifested a boat!!! He did too, obviously but that is too flippin cool!!!
7. Galiano Living, and Hawaiian living, well it has been HOT and I received the Hawaiian flower :) the Hibiscus what a beautiful flower, brings me to Hawaii every time i look at it. And we are going to Galiano in 15 days!!!
8. Last but definitely not least, Im writing a book!!!!!
So, if I have learnt one thing, when feeling amazing and light as air, write a list of things you know, and a list of things your dreaming up. Put in a picture that really resonates with you, and go over the list while envisioning and being grateful whenever you can. You will manifest it!!1

Today

Today I sang and recorded it on my cell phone, I played it back and actually liked what I heard. :)
I made a "I am grateful" diagram, and I really like it.
Im am shifting my focus from lack to abundance and gratitude. Visualizing what I want and then letting myself have it, being grateful for it. It is really nice!
This is my beautiful garden and Gemini lately;

 My beautiful birthday Hibiscus! Hibiscus is my favourite flower! It reminds me of Hawaii beaches and surf

 Part of the Garden extension I'm working on

 So Cute! Laying under the stairs in the heat

 Sweet Peas! 

 Dahlia's!

My what lovely feet you have my dear!

money flows

I have tons of money! There is plenty of money! Ive done all the work now all i have to do is relax and let it come to me, allow it.
*Accept That Money Is Only Energy And Nothing More* Money has become a symbol of oppression, control, greed. Money is only energy and it is only what we make it. Most people that desire financial wealth and don't have it are not allowing energy to flow. The key is to put ourselves in a frame of mind where we don't associate money with anything negative. When you NEED to do anything, energy will not flow. It must be because you WANT to do it and you ENJOY doing it.

I love money

Money is flowing at me in abundance

it whipping in the wind 

faster and faster

flowing through the windows and doors 

sticking to me

and im spending it on organic foods,

lots of herbs and seeds for the garden

clothes and shoes,

giving to Kiel  and dad and paying off all of my debt

I have a surplus of money

I have money saved

I bought a car, a house, a beautiful garden

I buy stylish things, beautiful things,

I buy people the gifts they want 

I buy myself gifts

I buy healing things

I buy a naturopaths time, intuitive healers, energy healers,

i buy camping trips, A motor home and a boat!

I am so happy!!

Bring Money to Me!!!

How do i change my negative beliefs surrounding money?
How do I use the tool of money in a positive and healthy and happy way?

I think I have the belief that "You have to work hard for money"
Or in order to make money you have to "do things you don't like, or sacrafice your time, and personality by putting on a role (that usually feels wrong to me) I want to make money by enjoying my time, and feeling accomplished and like i helped someone/something for a good cause.

Teal Scott says; if we want to invite money into our reality, we can't be focused on the lack of money. We also can't hope to manifest money if we have negative attitudes towards money.

Teal outlines 12 steps to take in order to generate wealth in your life and begin manifesting money into your experience. She urges us to understand that we do not need to work hard to earn the abundance that we seek. Instead, it is our birthright to receive the manifestation of anything we could possibly think up to desire... including more money. The experience of abundance is an experience you deserve and you don't have to "do" anything to deserve it!

1. Focus on (pay attention to) things which make you feel as if you already have abundance and wealth and not on things which make you feel poor. (Be in a space of appreciation.) Attitude of Graditude

2. Visualize what you want, why you want it and what you'll do with it. It has to be believable for you. If its not believable, when you are visualizing you will be thinking i want that but i dont think i can have it and thats what you will get more of. When you find out why you want what you want you align with having it.
3. Root out and replace your limiting beliefs relative to money. Get a positive association with money. Loving money doesn't make you a selfish person. 

4. When you have to spend money, think your way into it feeling good to spend that money. No buyer's remorse, no guilt, no focus on lack or loss. Don't spend money you dont feel about, line up with feeling good about whatever you spend $ on. Line up with the purchase you have made. 

6. "Follow the white rabbit". Set forth an intention and let the opportunities show up for you in the shape of synchronicities and unexpected coincidences and then act on inspired action. Only take inspired action (what feels good to do) it will fall into your lap. it may not immedietly make sense but it will. Never act out of need. Ideas may suddenly pop into your head and your inspired to take action upon it.
7. Re-frame your life from one of earning/effort to deserving. Most people think that they don't deserve things that they don't earn, by extending a lot of effort. this is actually inline with self hate. Entitlement is not even, you are deserving and entitled to anything you dream up. Focus and allow. release all resistance (focused on thing you are resisting.) 

8. Take any step which will help you to release resistance relative to money. This is individual, for example, for some that may mean creating a budget, for others it may mean saving.

9. Take note of EVERY form of abundance which is flowing into your experience no matter how small or large. And don't take inventory (focus on where you aren't yet) instead trust the universe to deliver exactly what you ask for. The law of the land is Ask and it is given. 

10. Take time to visualize that you are a magnet who breathes money to you.

11. Engage in a virtual spending spree.
12. Shift all of your attitudes towards safety/security. Don't treat money as if it is the thing separating you from disaster or not being safe. Instead, treat thoughts of lack of safety like they are the things separating you from disaster and not being safe. You want to focus on visualizing what safety and security would feel like and also on shifting your beliefs about all aspects of your life where you feel powerless. This will ensure that money will not be influenced by your focus on fear, disaster or powerlessness.

Everytime you breathe visualizw money is drawn to you and sticks to your skin. Imagine everything you will do with the money...

Reserve a bill you have like a $20. Have a virtual spending spree. Every time you spend the $ it goes right back to your wallet. keep increasing it. 

Money can flow into your life like air. It is that easy.

here is the video link of Teal Scott explaining the steps!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1tiHT3lJX8

Garden progress!!

First Salad from the garden!

Gemini in the Garden

This Apple seedling came from an Organic Apple I ate! It has already sprouted  when I found it in the core, I thought I'd give it a try!

              Zucchini had a rough start at life but look at it now...

 SunFlowers (and the succulent is Stonecrop)! Can't wait to see all the bright colours of these sunshine flowers, you can see the watermelon sprouts in the back left of the picture.

 

 Juice from the garden! Swiss Chard, salad greens, Arugula, Red Currents, (and then some frozen berries and yogurt which weren't from my garden)